Letter #1. Subject: Bears. From: Chile's friend Mugs in Colorado. Dear Pinky,
Do you have any advice about bears? In recent weeks, the black bears have been coming down from the mountains very close to my back yard. Do you think I should make friends with them or should I avoid them altogether? Do you know if bears eat cat food? Also, as much as I think Buster is a pipsqueak, I am concerned that he could be in danger. Do bears like dogs? Thank you for any advice you can send my way. Mugs

Excellent question! PLEASE AVOID BEARS, Mugs. Avoid them like they were an automatic garage door. Bears are very dangerous, and right now they are probably hungry, and even though they probably prefer to eat juicy blackberries, I'm sure they would eat cat food too. As a matter of fact, I often eat cat food myself. Especially the wet food, that's yummy. Or the kind that comes in those crinkly pouches. Actually, come to think of it, it's all delicious. It's practically like going to Baskin Robbins. As a matter of fact, what's better than cat food?

Okay, sorry, I got off the topic a little. I don't think the bears will bother you too much though, Mugs. I saw on a tv show once that bears are afraid of cats. Once a cat treed a bear in Yellowstone Park. The cat had kittens and she didn't want the bear coming around them, so she chased the bear up a tree. They are more likely to bother Buster, because he would probably bark at them like I bark when I hear the coyotes outside. And that might get on a bear's nerves. So I would say please encourage Buster not to bark at the bears, and to stay inside at night if possible. Okay, thanks for writing Mugs!

Love Pinky.

Letter #2. Subject: Oh the Aroma! From: Molly
Pinky, I just came from the groomer's. I smell like a cheap French whore. What do you suggest?

Excellent question! Ideally a bottle of Chateau Ducru-Beaucaillou St. Julien, 1995. If that is out of your price range, a good beaujolais nouveau. Merci for writing!

Love Pinky.