Letter #1. Subject: Moles. From: Bailey Dear Pinky,
I recently moved from the Dallas area to a house in Ashburn, Virginia with my friend Molly. We like our new home in Virginia better. It has a much nicer yard than the house in Texas and the fence is a special bonus--a split rail fence with chicken wire across it that lets us actually see what we are barking at.
Two problems, though.
First, there seem to be more bugs and stuff, but we take plenty of medicine for that. Do you have any other recommendations?
Second, each morning when I take Molly out in the back yard, I notice bulges in the ground that look as if tiny tunnels were being secretly dug each night by someone or something. These bulges are usually about six inches across and maybe two inches high; they are typically between five and twenty feet long, turning and crisscrossing in a frighteningly random way.
The people who give me my food don't seem too concerned, and usually say something about a landlord(?) as they simply smoosh the bulges back down with their feet.
Is there something I should be doing about this?
Bailey

Excellent questions! To answer your first question, I am not a trained veterinarian, but I have noticed a lot of bugs too. I recommend eating them. Buster agrees with this recommendation also. To answer your second question, yes. You should be doing something. First, dig a very large hole. Don't worry about the location of the hole, just dig as big a hole as possible somewhere in the yard. If there is a pretty flowerbed, that makes an excellent place to dig. The hole should be deep, but it should also be wide. This part can be quite tiring, and I often have my assistant Chile do it for me while I take a nap. Perhaps Molly can do this part for you. Now, when the hole is finished, two things can happen.
1. There is not a mole at the bottom.
2. There is a mole at the bottom.
Now, if the first thing happens, do not do anything. Continue napping. If the second thing happens, jump up as quickly as possible before your assistant tries to take the mole. This is YOUR mole. The WHOLE THING was your idea. When you have the mole firmly gripped (I recommend holding it by the head), RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN! At this point, any number of dogs or even people may be chasing you, so speed is of the essence. When you have ditched all of them, sit down in a quiet spot (I recommend under the porch), and enjoy a tasty snack. Thanks for writing! Love Pinky.

Letter #2. Subject: (no subject). From: A reader in New York
Dear Buster, are you dating anyone or do you have a girlfriend?

Excellent question! I don't think I want to settle down with one girl right now. After all, I am not even five years old. So I think I will wait and see what happens in my life, but I have met a lot of girl dogs that I like. Thanks for writing, Love Buster.

Letter #3. Subject: Baseball. From: A reader in California
Pinky and Buster, what are your favorite baseball teams? And do you have any tips for players who are just starting?

Excellent questions! Pinky prefers the Seattle Mariners, of course. Buster prefers his hometown Colorado Rockies. As far as baseball, Pinky really doesn't play baseball or any other sports involving a ball. But Buster has some advice: keep your head down. (But not too far down.) Whether you are hitting the ball or catching it, this should really help you. Thanks for writing! Love Buster and Pinky.